Epilogue

During the last installment of this blog, I was sitting in my comfort zone, in a spacious room, legs stretched on to the top of a nearby chair, with a bag of chips on my belly and lazily staring onto the screen. And then shortly after, I was sitting near the window of an airplane, looking down on the city fading away into patches of green with narrow meandering roads. And now, places have changed, life has somewhat changed, and perhaps I'm changing. For the better I hope. Now I'm sitting smack bang in the heart of a very large city, and feeling like a village boy wondering at the height of the buildings and the width of the roads, and eating the burnt food I myself cooked. But not a bad life by any stretch of the old imaginarium. As I say to myself, life is what happens when we make other plans, and that's what happened so far and that's why I'm at this point right now. And I believe whatever is going to happen, it's for the better, because it was so until now. 

But in this post lies the end of this blog. It all began in the spur of a moment one fine evening experimenting with this new space I found. And years from that point in time, I'm here, older, wiser (hopefully), and gearing up to face a new phase in life.

Goodbye old life. Welcome new hopes. This blog is closed. Cheers! 

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.” -- Lucius Seneca

Yet another evening

**Kovalam beach

Relegating to the past tense......

Life has been a good ride so far. No, not a roller-coaster kind of ride. But a shaky ride on a slow moving local bus with frequent bumps and potholes. A ride in which I've been with many people, and looking back on life, getting lost in a train of thoughts and memories, the people I've met, the places I've been, and thinking about how I'll be leaving everything far behind. And like always, a tinge of sadness looms around. But it's the path I chose to travel. And somewhere down the line I hope to say "it was the right path". 

Farewell folks, but it's not goodbye.

The misplaced moron finally falls back into place........and in the blink of an eye he realizes, he has been misplaced again. Poof!  

A day trip

Where art thou going me friend? Just a little ride Sir. Come come oh traveler, jump and hop in with me and I’ll take you places.

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On that comfortable morning, I jumped out of bed thinking about what I’m going to do for the day. It’s a pity that after being here for so many years, I haven’t visited this place 30 kms to the south of my house. So off I set forth to the south after having a hearty breakfast. 

After a short ride on the road, I reached this boat jetty.

From here I need to take a boat to reach, what they call, ‘Poovar Island’.

In fact the only way to reach the island is via a boat.

I hopped into the tiny boat

and sailed through the backwaters

that flows between the verdant green of the aslant coconut trees.

After about 20 minutes of ride I reached this dock.

Stepping onto the dock, I looked straight and saw a beach across the backwaters. And along the beach, one can see an estuary that connects the lake with the sea.

It’s said that the name ‘Poovar’ was given by Marthanda Varma Maharaja, the king of erstwhile state of Travancore, who during his shelter at this place saw a stream of red flowers floating on the lake from the trees along the banks, that seemed like a red carpet on water. The stream was named Poovar by the king (Poo – aar, meaning stream of flowers).

Poovar was a trading center of timber, sandlewood, ivory and spices. It is believed that the trading ships of King Solomon landed in a port called 'Ophir', which is figured out as Poovar.

After having lunch and spending some time in the resort in the island, I set straight for the beach.

Poovar is basically a fishing village, and beach activities are not that developed here.

One peculiarity of this place is that two starkly different landscapes are juxtaposed against each other – on one side there is this greenish waters of the lake

and on the other is the sparkling blue of the sea.

The beach is pretty isolated except for a couple of tourists and some local boys swimming in the backwater side of the beach.

After walking along the beach for quite some time, I returned back to the island. Had some tea and meanwhile it dawned on me that time is almost up to leave this place.

Jumped back in to the boat and sailed through the backwaters again.

As Oscar Wilde says, from the above pic it seems “Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life”.

Fare thee well o island and seas, t’was one of those days

which couldn’t get any better.  

Back to home sweet home. I should be popping up at the dining table just in time for supper.

A few more

Sometime during last August I was preparing for gre and I used to go to the library, where there were some guys preparing for cat, and I soon became acquainted with them. Some incidents during that time –

There was this Vineeth's friend who bought a brand new mobile phone with a 3 MP camera. But to his dismay the pictures taken are all blurred. Incensed at this he takes the mobile to the shop to get it repaired...........Turns out he hadn't removed the sticker in front of the cam.

Unni was a self-proclaimed painter. Once he sketches a person and comes to us and asks how it is.
Vineeth: Adipoli, Heath Ledger kidilam aayirikkunnu.
Shocked and disappointed, Unni turns to me and asks, “ithu aarane enne ninakke thonnunnu?
Me: Undertaker? 
Unni desp. Only later we learned he had actually drawn Emma Watson.

Appu, Unni & Vineeth goes to this rundown, seedy restaurant for lunch; it was the only one nearby. Careful in what they ate, they ordered rice. Pakshe Appuvine athonnum pora. Avane porottayum chicken curryum venam. But avide ini 2 porottas matrame baakki olloo, Appuvine 3 venam. So the boy after a while gives him a 3rd one. Hours later, Appuvine kadinamaya vayaru vedana. Our reckoning – Boy goes to kitchen, and waste basketil kidanna oru porotta eduthe Appuvine koduthu.

Nambi and I went to college to collect LORs, transcripts and other application-related stuff; it's been a long while since we had stepped into college. After collecting the documents from staff adviser, she asks Nambi, “Aa irikkunna teachere okke ormayundo”. Nambi replies, “Pinne, enne 4 semesters padippicha teacher alle, marakkan pattumo”, ennitte oru ilinja chiriyum chiriche avidunne skoot aayi. Kurachu kazhinje he asks me, “Eda aa teacherude peere enthayirunnu”, and I says her name. Nambi – “Njaan vere oru peeranennanu vichariche. Njaan pereduthu parayanjathu bhaagyam. Allarunnenkil chammi poyene”. 

Nambi takes me in his bike to drop me off at the bus stop. Bus stop-ile pennungale kaanumbam avane ichiri ilakkam koodunnathaanu. Bike oru prithyeeka style-il saamanyam nalla speedil avan bus stop-inte mumbil valachu chutti kondu nirthaan nokki. Pakshe avide kurachu manal kidannathu kaaranam bike skid cheythu. Potho ennum paranje Nambiyum njaanum marinjadichu veenu. Bike-inte mirror potti. Nambiyude kai murinju. Ente kaal oranju. Aduthu ninna oru ammavan paranju “Ithe ivanmaarude sthiram paniyanu. Pennungal koodi nilkunna sthalathu bike kondu kore koprayam kanikkanayitte irangum raavile”. Aa keettathil enikke vishamamilla. Pakshe, kandu ninna pennungal adakki pidicha chiri chirikunnathu kande ente hridayam thakarnu. Alpamenkilum undayirunna maanavum poyi. Ennittum ithellaam kazhinje Nambi ente eduthe parayuvane, “aa black dress itta penkutti enne nokki chirichu, nee kandarunno?”. Athe ninne nokki chirichathalla, nee veezhunnathe kandu potti potti chirichathanu, ennu enikke avante eduthu parayanam ennundarunnu; pakshe enthu kondo njaan paranjilla. Maunam nadichu njaan angane irunnu. And to think that Nambi is going to attend Univ. of Southern California with all his antics and number-ukal is a joke in itself. Enthayalum Los Angeles-ile pennungalude heels inu kurachu naalathekku oru pani aayi. Nambiyude kavilinum.

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P.S. Almost 7 months of wait after filling out application forms answering some very embarrassing questions such as what skills and knowledge do I have, finally I got admitted into some universities out of which I got a scholarship and tuition waiver to attend University of Houston, Texas. And as a cherry on top for me, my cousin and her family stays about a one hour drive from the university. As they say, like many other things in life, your options choose you sometimes, not vice versa.

Waiting for life to kick start once again. Hope the kick doesn't land on my teeth though. 

The Uttarakhand Trip

En route to Mussoorie Situated about 30 kms from Dehradun and at about 7000 ft altitude, it’s quite a trip to reach Mussoorie.

Green hills, hairpin curves and breathtaking views I told ya it’s quite a trip.

Mussoorie – distant view Situated in the foothills of Himalaya ranges, this small city is also called ‘Queen of hill stations’ in India.

Mall Road, Mussoorie You can walk and walk along this promenade and you never get tired. Oh, and I didn’t see any mall by the way, but lots of restaurants, antique shops and an aquarium.

Somewhere along the Mall Road You see some cables in the pic? Yeah?, we have to take a cable car to reach, what they call, the ‘Gun hill’.

View from the cable car You get a bird’s eye view of the city, quite literally.

View from the Gun Hill Situated 400 ft above the Mall Road, this hill provides excellent views of nearby mountains and valleys. They say a canon was used to sound out midday for many years from this hill, and hence the name ‘Gun Hill’. Cold breeze buffet you all the time atop this hill. 

Some coffee shop atop Gun Hill This shop sells something by the label of 'fruit beer'; one sip and I realized it's just apple soda *sigh*

Sunset at Mussoorie Though this pic gives me a warm feeling now, on retrospect, it was almost 5 degree C when I took this. And coming from a place where the only temperatures are hot, hotter and hottest, it quite made my teeth rattle.

En route to Kempty falls which is situated about 15 kms from Mussoorie. You can see something like rice terraces to the mid-left in the pic.

Kempty Falls It’s said that the British used to organize ‘camp-tea’ parties here, and hence the name ‘Kempty’. Down the hill, the waters of Kempty meet Yamuna.

Robber’s cave, Dehradun Known as Guchhupani among the locals, this is a natural river cave formation situated about 10 kms from Dehradun city. You can walk through this cave for almost a kilometer in that icy cold spring and you reach a fort wall structure. It’s said that the erstwhile robbers used to hide here from the British, but now I could see a college couple hiding in there.

En route to Rishikesh Nothing much to see along the way except for some thick forests and lots of monkeys, and I mean a ‘lot’. 

Lakshman Jhula Bridge, Rishikesh This is a suspension bridge built in 1939 and the main landmark of Rishikesh. It’s said that Lakshman crossed Ganga here using jute ropes across the river.

View from the bridge Also known as the ‘Gateway to the Himalayas’, this holy city has several ancient temples along the banks of the Ganges.

The Ganges in its pristine form It’s here that the river leaves the Shivalik mountains in the Himalayas and flows out into the plains of northern India. As you can see, the color of the river here is Turquoise, which I reckon, is due to high concentrations of dissolved lime picked up as it runs through sedimentary rocks.

Some ashram on the banks of the Ganges Rishikesh is often called the world capital of Yoga; no wonder I saw more foreigners here than Indians. Also, here you can get authentic Rudraksh beads, picked up from the foothills of Himalayas. According to one shopkeeper, to distinguish between authentic and counterfeit, one of the methods is to put the bead in water – the authentic one will sink, while the counterfeit floats. Smaller the size of the bead, higher is the price. And no, I didn’t buy any, leaving the shopkeeper disgruntled.

Haridwar Located about 25 kms from Rishikesh, this is one of the seven holiest places to Hindus. 

Kumbh Mela, Haridwar This is a mass Hindu pilgrimage that takes place every 12 years. What a coincidence for me to be there! It’s believed that this is the spot where ‘Amrit’ fell when it was carried away by ‘Garuda’ and so taking a holy dip here will wash away one’s sins to attain ‘Moksha’.

The sparkling Ganges Every good thing comes to an end, and so did this trip. 

The expletive lesson

What am I going to do? How’s he going to respond? Will he call my parents? Will I get suspended? Oh man I’m screwed.

Standing outside his office, all kinds of thoughts about an impending doom passed through my mind. It was the 8th standard and it was all started by Alex. And look at him, happily sitting inside the class and enjoying. Speaking about Alex, the guy was very vocal plus he had an extremely good vocabulary of swear words in English; in fact, I first heard the F word from him. So you can’t really argue with Alex, he will strip you down with his ear-ripping language.

It was another of those days when I got involved in an altercation with Alex, and as usual he just excoriated me and made me speechless. Mortified, dejected and depressed, I meekly went and sat beside Maximilian. An empathetic Maxi advised me that if I ever want to retaliate against Alex, I need to work on it. How? For starters, he said, one should go to the library, take the Tintin comics and search for all the dialogues of Captain Haddock. Seeing a ray of hope in Maxi’s words, the next interval, I ran to the library, took out a piece of paper, and filled the whole 2 pages with absolutely hair raising beautiful words such as ‘cachinnating cockatoo’, ‘blue blustering barnacles’, ‘gibbering anthropoid’, ‘macrocephalic baboon’, ‘thundering typhoons’ and the likes. Feeling completely satiated I went back to class and started memorizing all those words, coz next interval I’m going to pounce on Alex and annihilate him. Now, I was sitting in the corner right next to the window; the corridor ran next to it; and while I was juggling between memorizing the expletives and writing down what the teacher was writing on the board, a hand barged through inside the window and snatched the paper with me. The hand belonged to our Vice Principal, Fr. Edassery.
Me: "It isn’t…..I didn’t mean….that is, it was…..yak yak"
He carefully glanced through the paper, folded it, kept it in his pocket and walked away after asking me to meet him in the interval.

Standing outside his office, all kinds of thoughts about an impending doom passed through my mind. What am I going to do? How’s he going to respond? Will he call my parents? Will I get suspended? Oh man I’m screwed. The brief period of wait outside his door seemed like an eternity for me; well, Einstein's theory of relativity is true after all I guess. 

As soon as I entered his room, I begged, I apologized, I pleaded to spare me this time, and told I will never repeat this ever again. I almost fell into his legs. After hearing all my melodramatic histrionics, Vice let a deep sigh, removed his specs, slowly wiped it with his kerchief and said,

"It’s not blustering barnacles, it’s ‘blistering’ barnacles."

Yet another journey

Kerala Express was crowded by the time I boarded it at Ernakulam. I entered into a compartment in the back and hopped into the next ones trying to find a seat. After almost 20 minutes of hopping, I reached somewhere in the front of the train and I saw paradise – a compartment with a plethora of empty seats. Tired and sleepy I went and sat down near a window seat. Opposite to my seat was this tall and lanky man in his mid thirties…….with an unusual smile…….in fact his face always sported that smile. After a while, this guy started some chitchatting with me, but overcome with fatigue I didn’t want to entertain anyone…….no, not even if it was a smashing looking young lady in his place……seriously! ;) When the train reached Kottayam, this guy takes his small black bag and places it beside my seat and requests me to look after it while he’ll be back in a jiffy. To my dismay, the man didn’t come and the train had started moving. I lied down on the seat trying to catch some sleep, keeping that bag near my head…….but thoughts started revolving round my head – either the man missed the train or he purposely left the bag in the train. Why? Errrr, bomb? Hmm, thinking about it, the bag is of perfect size to fit a bomb, and there’re scores of people in the train……But……Nay, highly improbable. But still………..The train passed 2 more stations and by now I almost became paranoid, imagining a tick tick from the bag. Realizing that my head is very close to the bag, I got up and put the bag in the upper berth, and lied down again, now really trying hard to sleep. I made my mind to hand over the bag to railway police at the next stop.

It was sometime during my little nap that I heard a commotion; while getting up I saw the man that disappeared in Kottayam station, making a ruckus in the next section of compartment about his bag. I immediately got up and called him and showed his bag in the berth.

What had happened to him? Well, this train when it reaches Ernakulam changes the position of its engine. That is, the front of the train becomes back and vice versa. So this man boarded somewhere in the front of the train at Ernakulam and after he got down at Kottayam to stroll for a while, he asked someone where the front was (which was now the back) and entered the train only to find me and the bag gone. Later realizing the mistake, he hopped from the back to front searching for the bag.

Well that’s the story. But the punch of the story lies in the man’s dialogue after he sat down near me with his bag,

"Ho, bag-inte akathe ente lungi-yum baniyan-um ondaarunnu. Atha enikke tension aayathe."

Sugary panic

So this aunt of mine came running frantically to my uncle seeking immediate medical help. Reason? She just discovered the cause of her high palpitation and other ailments. The cause? Astronomical blood sugar levels. How she knew? The gadget that checks sugar displayed 601 as her level. What uncle did? Checked the sugar level again. What went wrong before? Turns out she held the gadget upside down. The actual sugar level? 109. What uncle did? Fumed. What aunty did? Went to check her weight.

Hypochondriacs. I’m one too.

Yet another pun

So I was attending this wedding and my cousin Mathan was talking to Appappan about his studies and stuff.
Appappan: Mon padiche veliya nilayil ethanam.
Cousin: Padiche padiche ippum naalamathe nilayil ethi.

Cousin is a civil engineering student now doing his internship in a construction company. Appappane kaaryam click cheyyan kurachu time eduthu.

Oru Vattam Koodi............

After penning down some school anecdotes some time back, I felt a few of the incidents escaped my memory, and I felt I haven't done justice to my college days which was rife with amusing incidents. Hence this post, where I've compiled a few missed out school anecdotes, lots and lots of college anecdotes and some post-college anecdotes. I had considered some flowery words and purple prose as an introduction to this post, but that seemed a bit corny and out of place. So I'll straight away blast into the past (I'm a little dubious about how a person reading this will feel, coz sometimes the effect of the joke fades away when it's transcribed into a paper. However, irrespective of that, I've squeezed everything that I could get hold of into this space. Also, some of the incidents are not first person accounts of mine but written so for ease of narration; they were passed on from friends to friends and I just did the job of compiling it)

Caution: Pretty long post 

School 

There was this Chemistry Sir in school, he would take us to the lab and say, “Today I’ll show you an unidentified compound, you should identify it”, and then turns to the lab assistant and say, “aaa Madhu, aa sodium sulphate solution ingedukkoo”.

During Aleykutty Madam’s class, Pimply stands up to answer a question. Cherian places a pen on the bench…….so when Pimply sat down, pen pierces his pants……..pimply twists and turns and becomes restless.......and searches whether his pant is torn in the back.
Aleykutty Madam: abhey pimply, why are you dancing?
Pimply’s reply made an uproarious laughter in class – “madam, searching for my hole”.

There was this Sir who taught us in the 7th std, once he gave us an assignment and told how and when to submit it, and then says, “There is no ampi kutty in it”. Everyone scratches their head…….only later we realized he meant ‘ambiguity’.

Rohit had this habit of randomly dialing some numbers and say, “Hello mein Amitabh Bachan bol raha hu Kaun Banega Crorepathi se”. The usual response from the other end -- “Haam ji, boliyeji”.

College 

At 3. AM on a university exam day, Sonu's mobile phone rings........Sonu irritatedly wakes up from his sleep and answers the phone........It was Nambi at the other end........asks, "hello Sonu alleda", to which Sonu drearily replies in the positive.......Nambi -- "Ok sheri", and hangs up the phone......leaving Sonu dumbfounded.

During lunch break, Chattu goes to KP’s house with hopes of watching ‘Jodha Akbar’ on his computer. A reluctant KP, who wants to reach the noon class on time, finally agrees to show him the movie. KP fast forwards the film, explains to Chattu, “aadyam oru war onde, kando…….ennitte hero veluthakum…….oru pennine ishtapedum……kalyanam kazhikkum…..daa ivide oru paattu onde………pinne avan avale samshayikkum……aval veetil pookum……oru paattu ivideyum onde…….pinne hero yudham cheyyum villainum aayittu………pinne villainum aayittu oru fight……hero jayikkum………film theernu…….okay, vaa thirichu college-il pokam.
Chattu: blink blink

Nambi's secret ambition was to be a script writer................he writes short stories and keeps in his cupboard............Once when Prasanna visits Nambi's house, he gets hold of one of Nambi's stories titled "Kattappana Kuttappan". Prasanna brings it to college and publicizes it...........much to the embarrasment of Nambi............I don't remember much of the story, but its first sentence goes like this, "Vettathile kallan gopalakrishnan aanenkil, meesha madhavanile kallan madhavan aanenkil, kattapanayile kallan aanu kuttappan, kattappana kuttappan". We mock Nambi saying  it's the kind of story that kindergarten kids like to which Nambi says he wrote the story when he was a child, for a school play during youth festival...............only that the 1st sentence of the story which says about the films 'Vettam' and 'Meesha Madavan' were released only a couple of years back.

KP has this unique way of introducing himself to others -- "ente pere Nithin Prasanth KP.  Chilar Nithin ennu vilikkumenkilum koottukar enne KP ennanu vilikkunnathu, pakshe veettukar Prashanth ennu vilikkum, enkilum KP ennu paranjal ellavarkum ariyam, athu konde ningalke enne Nithin enno Prashanth enno KP enno vilikkam." Person at the other end will never ever forget the name and will chant it like a parrot if woken up from sleep at midnight.

KP says to Vipin that he'll come to Vipin's house to collect notes in a while. After sometime, Vipin hears about an accident near his house involving a red honda unicorn. Vipin gets tensed as KP has a red unicorn and frantically tries to call KP's mobile............but KP's phone is not being picked up............Vipin gets immensely nervous.........tries calling several times........at last KP picks up the phone.
Vipin: ninakke kozhappam onnumillallo?
KP: illa, entha karyam?
Vipin: ente veedine aduthe oru red unicorn accident-il pettu. Nee aano enne enikkoru doubt ondaarunnu.
KP: oh, athu chelappam njaan aayirikkilleda.

Pinne there is Snandi’s kallatharangals. Assignment vekkenda divasam college-il raavile vannittu teachere phone cheyyum, "Halla teacher, njaan Guruvayur ambalathil nilkuva, ippo thozhuthittu irangiyathe olloo......aa athe.......athu konde teacher, inne assignment vekkaan pattilla, njaan ellaam nerathe thanne ezhuthi theerthaarunnu, pakshe athu veettil irikkuvanu....nghe.....veedu poottiyekkuvanu, allaarunnenkil areyenkilum vittu assignment eduppikaamarunnu.......o sorry teacher.....njaan naale thanne vannu submit cheythoollaam.....ook teacher......thank you teacher.............." And then Snandi heads to the nearest theatre for the morning show.

Rahul opens his messenger when an offline message pops up from Sudeep which says “Yes”. Scratching his head what that meant, Rahul opens the message archive. On April 15, Rahul sends the message, “Are you online”. On May 20, one month after, Sudeep’s reply – “Yes”.

Shinu once messages to Nambi on his mobile – “Where are you?”. Nambi’s reply – “No”.

Anif parks his bike by the theatre and we went to watch a movie. Movie kazhinju thirichu vannappam avante bike-il kaakka kaaryam sadhichu.
Anif: Kaakka thooreennu thonnunnu.
Me: Kaakkakke ariyaam correct kakkoos evideyaanennu. Iniyenkilum ee jaambavan vandi kondu kalayade.

Keeri goes to Hyderabad during class tour and as they wait in the queue to enter Ramoji film city, there was this middle aged lady in front of them. Keeri quips to his friend, “ee ammachi bhayankara karate aanenne thonnunnu”, unknowing that the lady was a Malayali. The lady turns back with a scowl, looks at him, and snaps, “Atheda, ninne pole ulla onakka Malayalikale deal cheyyan karate thanne venam”.

KP was the one who introduced Nambi and I to Kubrick movies. KP says about some of his movies and after a while Nambi chats with this pavam guy Sreelesh.
Nambi: ee kubrick movies oru rekshayumilla. Athaanu art ennu parayunne. Athaanu perfection ennu parayunne.
Sreelesh: aara ee kubrick?
Nambi: nghe, ninakke kubrick-ine ariyille. Ayye! Che!
Only that Nambi just heard about Kubrick minutes ago from KP.

Friday noon was the time for bunking classes and going for movies and this time we went to see the Mammooty starring 'Big B'. Film begins and after a while Rohit says, “Njaan ee movie evideyo kandittundallo. Ithe English movie ‘Four Brothers’ inte frame by frame copy alle”. Nambi overhears that and turns back to us, “Eda, ithe ‘Four Brothers’ inte frame by frame copy. Ayye”
We: Athine nee ‘Four Brothers’ kandittundo?
Nambi turns to Rohit and meekly says, “Eda, naale aa film enikke pen drive-il aakki kondu tharane, marakkaruthu”.

Nambi’s orkut profile was atrocious. He had about 7 or 8 paragraphs describing himself (unfortunately, we forgot to take a screen shot of it then). Even more atrocious was his orkut album – pics displaying his face in different angles, front pose, back pose, side pose, side pose with an elevation of 30 degrees, Nambi laughing, Nambi serious, Nambi thinking etc etc etc. And then one day the dreaded thing happens. Some homo copies these pics, transfers it to his album, uses it as the display pic, joins all the gay communities, and sends scraps and friend requests to others, including one of Nambi’s friends. Nambi gets notified of this, he twists he turns, becomes uncontrollable and bursts, and charges into the guy's scrap book.

Screenshot courtesy – Rahul

Now this guy starts hitting on Nambi, says Nambi is so handsome and he feels a certain emotional attachment with his appearance, and stuff like that, and hence he used the pic. Finally after lots of Nambi’s efforts (saying his family and relatives and all are there in orkut), the guy removes all the pics. But now this guy wants to be friends with Nambi and wants to meet him, talk to him and stuff. See Nambi’s reply.

Screenshot courtesy -- Rahul

Nambi’s favorite movie at the time was ‘Life is Beautiful’ and he mentions it in orkut. There’s a Malayalam movie of the same name which was utter flop, and once a girl comes and says to him that his taste in movies is pathetic. Humiliated, the very same day Nambi changes the name of the movie to its original Italian version ‘La vita e bella’.

Fourth semester ‘Analog Communication’ exam for 1st series. Katta paper. Aarkum onnum arinju kooda. Marks vannu. Class topper Vipin Sasidharanu 15/50. Baakki ullavarude marks purake vannu.
Varun Jothish – 10/50
Vipul Mathew – 8/50
Nithin KP – 5/50
Thomas Sebastian – 2/50
Shubha V – 0/50
Later Vipul tries to placate Shubha, says “Kozhappamilla Shubha, 2nd series-inu ithinte double vangicha mathi”. Only to see a furious Shubha.
Vipul: Oh sorry, double cheythittu karyamillalle. Square cheythaalo.
Vipul runs away as Shubha gets up from her bench.

On the eve of exam we went to this Sir’s house to learn a particular portion of the syllabus. So Sir was teaching and then he casually asks whether anyone qualified for gate; we tell him that a girl X of computer science got top 50 rank. Sonu couldn’t place which girl that was; we described her to him in detail but still he didn’t get her. Sir continues his teaching. After a while, Sonu’s head springs up and in a fit of excitement shouts, “ooo, nammal 1st year-il busil vaay nookikondirunna aaa pennu!!”. Dead silence pervades inside the room. Everyone stares at him; Sir’s wife and daughter is in the next room; everyone clearly hears; Sir sweats; Perfect silence now………except for a wild giggling and chuckling of Sudeep who says to Sonu , “Ayyayye, ninakke engane aade avale nokkan thonniye, che!”. Now everyone starts sweating. Sir adjusts his glasses and slowly continues, “aaa the bandwidth of the modulated wave is…………

Third Semester Electronics workshop. Circuit-ine aavashyamayyittulla components students thanne vangichu kondu chellanam. Sabareesh brings his emandan capacitor and plugs it on the breadboard. Kurachu samayam kazhinje avante circuit-il ninnum puka varunnu. Pinne padakkam pottunna pole ulla oru shabdam. Background-il Sabareesh inte karachil -- "ayyo ente capacitor piece piece aayi poye.......".

In the middle of a boring, sleep inducing lecture, SFI comes to class asking if anyone’s blood group is A+ve, for immediate donation of blood to hospital. Sreejith springs up from his bench replying in the positive to which someone from the back shouts “Ayyo, avante blood HIV +ve aane!”, much to the embarrassment of teacher as well as the fury of Sreejith.

Nambi boasts to us that he was district level champion in softball, which all of us rejected as a tall tale.........Nambi proves it to us by showing a district team jersey with the team name 'city tigers' or something like that. Later Prasanna spots the exact same jerseys displayed for sale in the foot paths of East Fort.

For the exam that starts at 9.30 am, Nambi departs from his house at 9.45 am, much to the dismay of his mother. Nambi's explanation to his mom -- "oh payye chennal mathi, athinokke ollathe padichittolloo"

Then there was Pravachan. 50 Rs petty adicha traffic policine 100 Rs kaikkooli koduthe othukki theertha Pravachan. Swapnathil sundaranakan kulichu powderum ittu kidannurangunna budhi rakshasan Pravachan (Pravachan kathakal, as perfectly described by Mech guys)

During driving test of Pravachan, 
Inspector: What will you do if your vehicle hits and enters into a shop while you're driving?
Pravachan: Athu...athu....kai veliyil itte slow down signal kanikkum.
Inspector: Entammo!!!!!

1st year-il padikkunna samayam. Pravachan orikkal toilet-il poyappol, etho oru senior avane nokki cheetha vilichu. Pravachanum vittu koduthilla, thirichu vilichu nalla pulicha theri. Kurachu kazhinje oru pattam seniors avane valanju, ennitte koduthu naalidi vayattinittu. Ellaam kazhinje annan classil vannu parayuvane, “Gym-il pokunnathu konde onnum eettilla”.

If ‘impossible’ was the word that didn’t exist in Napoleon’s dictionary, ‘unbelievable’ was the one that didn’t exist in Thadiyan Raman’s dictionary. Always tells tall tales, every film actor is in some way his relative; chumma badayi oru chuluppum illaathe adikkum. Once he says to me and Allen, "Vishwanathan Anand ente family friend aanu. Orikkal njaan Vishwettante veettil poyi, ennitte chess kalichu. 1st game Vishwettan jayichu……..enikkathe sahichilla……aavesham keeri……sarva daivangaleyum viliche 2nd game kalichu……..njaan jayichu. Appam pullikaranu vaashi kayari. 3rd game kalichu…….athu draw aayi." 

Thadiyan Raman sees a notebook with some girl’s pic on its cover, says, “ee pennine njaan evideyo vechu kanda parichayam”. Allen, totally irritated and fed up of his ‘vedis’, “oo sammathichu, ee pennu ninte kochu mol, shah rukh khan ninte achan, preity zinta ninte amma, bollywood ninte tharavadu, mathiya?
Thadiyan: asooya!

Kaashukaran Soman muthalali goes to an ordinary restaurant in Tvm, and asks “Anna cocktail onda?”

The same Soman comes in his brand new Corolla to college, when Ashwin parks his rickety old Fiat model car beside him.
Soman: Ede ninte car-ine central locking ondade?
Ashwin’s hapless facial expression was something one can never forget.

One day Soman and us comes out of a hotel, Soman needs change for 10 rupees in coins; he spots a beggar by the side of the hotel with plenty of coins on his laid out handkerchief. Soman goes to him and asks, “anna, 10 Rs-ine annante kaiyile change tharamo”. Soman learns some brand new Tvm theris. Later Soman’s quip – “Lokame ‘thara’vadu”.

Chattu gets very sharp when he consumes alcohol. Saadarana normal allaatha avan vellam adichal normal aakum; maatramalla, apaara concentration um vekkum. We call it the normalization drink of Chattu. IPL nadakkunna samayam. Chattu vellam adichu full concentration-il match kaanunnu.
Shinu: dey, Kumble etra wicket eduthu?
Chattu: 2 wickets, 15 runs, 4 overs, 2 wides, economy rate 3.75.
Shinu floored.

So I was waiting outside principal’s office, when the name ‘Veena’ was called out. I looked around and saw this girl nearby and asks “Veena?”
Girl (looks down and around): Illa Veenillallo.

Prasanna’s taste for movies was wide known in college………his all-time favorite Malayalam movie is CID Moosa……….likes all crap Hindi movies, forces others to watch these movies, and then praises these movies for their acting and direction………………Soon a benchmark was established in college to determine the crappiness of a movie. Whenever anyone watches a horrible movie, the tagline that we use to describe the movie was, “aa cinema Prasannakke poolum ishtapedilla”.  

Sanil reads about some experiment in the text, encounters the sentence, “this process can be very cumbersome”. Sanil doesn’t understand its meaning, asks Vipin, “eda, ee cumbersome ennu paranjal enthuva?”
Vipin: vexatious
Sanil: ???!!
Turns to me and asks, “eda cumbersome ennu vechal…..?”
Me: operose
Sanil: (now thunks his head on the wall)

Sometime around when I started this blog, I became lured by Chatti’s advice of making money by placing ads in blog. Chatti says his father’s cousin’s daughter’s husband’s colleague’s neighbour’s son’s classmate’s brother made about 300$ from placing ads on his blog. So I too placed lots of google ads on this blog, below the title, between the posts, above the posts, on the sidebars etc etc. Only thing, no bloody fool clicked on any of those. So I myself started clicking and found it working, almost made 10$ in a month. The next day, google ads banned me permanently.

Sudeep’s answer in engg. economics series exam to the qn, “what is fiat money?” – “money used to buy fiat car…..approx 4.5 lakhs for palio”. Paper correct cheytha saar desp.  

Prasanna’s technique in answering unknown qns is somewhat as follows. Qn will be of the form, “Pashuvine patti ezhuthuka”. Answer will be of the form, “enikkoru pashuvunde…..pashuvine njaan thengil kettiyidum……thengu nammude kera vriksham aanu…..thengil ninnum thenga kittum” and writes 2 pages describing thenga.

Chottu likes this girl in our bus and ogles at her every single day. Everyday he makes a resolution that he’ll not look at her again. Resolution lasts for 7 hours…………that is his sleeping time.

Botsu, who’s not that fluent in Malayalam, asks me the difference between pani (work), pani (fever) and panni (pig).
Me: Well, pani is work, pani is fever, and panni is how you greet people in Kerala. Instead of ‘Hi buddy’, you can say something like ‘Hi panni’.
The bugger actually goes and tests this. The upshot of the incident was that he never asked me any doubts in Malayalam again.

When you speak to Rahul for sometime, out of the blue he'll talk about something that's totally irrelevant to the topic of discussion. Rahul, Sudeep, Praveen et al were discussing about some cricket match, suddenly Rahul -- "Appurathe veettile kochine eduthu njaan angu madiyil vechu". Keettu ninnavar ellaarum silent. Joliyil kayari kazhinjum avane valiya maattam onnum illa. On weekends when the gang was playing cards, Rahul all of a sudden, "de varunnu karutha kottitta judgi addeham".......ellaarum silent.

KP always loses interest in things after a while. He goes to play pool, says 'lost interest' after 2 games; goes for movie, says lost interest halfway into the movie; goes to theme park, says lost interest after 2, 3 rides; starts reading textbook, says lost interest after 2 chapters. Finally Chattu quips, "ho, ivanokke pennu kettiyal 2 days kazhinju parayumello interest poyennu", to which KP says he lost interest in listening to Chattu's quips.  

Usually in theatres here, at the beginning of movie when credits are displayed, fans clap and whistle when the hero's name is displayed on screen. Quite different from the general public, Nambi stands up and claps and whistles when the names of makeup-artist/stunt-master and the likes are displayed..........much to the bemusement of the audience.

Chattu, KP and Shinu goes to Nambi’s house and from there they goes to the badminton club; KP and Nambi in KP’s bike & Chattu and Shinu in Chattu’s bike. KP and Nambi reaches the club but even after waiting for half an hour doesn’t see any spot of Chattu’s bike. KP calls Chattu in his mobile asking where he is……….Chattu’s infamous dialogue – “Eda, enikke Nambi-de veettil pookanulla vazhiye ariyatholloo. Thirichu varan ariyilla.”

KP asks me to wait near Sreebala theatre where he’ll pick me up. Sreebala is the main theatre in the city that shows Adult films. While I wait near the theatre, my neighbor passes by poking his head through his car window………behind me is the poster that shows a scantily clad plump lady with the movie title ‘Swapnakamuki’. Later neighbor asks with a wry smile, “film engane ondaarunnu”.

Post College

Prasanna, who’s working in B’lore comes to Tvm every week. It costs him about 2000 rupees to and fro for the journey. His main intention of coming to Tvm is to watch movies in theatre as it’s too expensive to watch the same in B’lore. Prasanna’s explanation – “2000 rupees poyenkilentha, 40 rupees-inu film kaanaan pattiyille”

While watching a film in theatre, Nambi gets a call from his mom to know his whereabouts. Nambi’s reply – “Amma, njaan blue film kandu kondirikkuva”; while he was actually watching the Hindi film 'Blue'.

Name of the place that Kishore got posted to after training – 'eechamukku'. No kidding, there’s this place 'eechamukku' somewhere in ernakulam.

Vipin gets tired of the hotel food in B’lore and starts cooking. He rolls chappathis using beer bottles. When he returns home, he tells mom about his cooking sagas. Mom asks, “athinu chappathi roller illaathe engane aada nee athu parathunne”
Vipin (casually): beer bottle upayogiche.
Mom: nghe!! enthe!! nee avide kallu kudi thudangiyo?!!
Vipin realizes the abadham he just said.
Vipin: eey, athe njaan urine test cheyyan vendi bottle vangichatha.

Prasanna tries to lure a reluctant Chattu into watching ‘Avatar’, says “eda, ide saada film alla, kannadi okke veche aane kaanunnathe”, to which a bespectacled Chattu replies, “Oh, njaan ellaa film um kannadi vechade kaanunnathu”.

Rahul, Sabareesh, Pappu and others goes for a trip during weekend. When they come back, Sabareesh finds that the door wasn't locked........turns to Rahul and says, "Nee entha door lock cheyyanje? Nee alle avasaanam irangiye".........to which Rahul's blunt reply, "Athu konde? Njaan allallo door thoranne. Thoranna aal aane lock cheyyende"

Thavala goes to multiplex, asks for 'To harihar nagar'  tickets; man at the counter gives him 'two'  harihar nagar tickets. 150+150 = 300 rupees poyi kitti.

During reunion, Sree couldn’t come, so I ask Abru, “Sree enthu parayunnu?”.
Abru: Oh, Malayalam okke thanne.
Kettu ninnavar eellarum koodi avane eduthitte thalli. 

Chottu had this disaster management seminar in his office. The guy who took the seminar shows ‘em many videos and stuff, and one video was the 9/11 destruction of twin towers. Guy comes to the audience and asks, “Will this happen in India?” Chottu snaps, “No”.
Guy: why?
Chottu: Coz………there are no twin towers in India.
Seminar edutha aashaan desp.

Chattu becomes obsessed with playing the card game ‘28’……..28 is a 4 player game and Chattu coerces his roommates into playing with him………on weekends, weekdays, morning before going to work, evening after work……all the time………Fed up, one of the roommate packs up his bag and leaves (Actually the roommate left of different reasons but we put the blame on Chattu)……..Chattu ingeneously devices new rules and twists the game so as to make it a 3 player game……...After sometime, another of the guys also had enough of Chattu and resigns from playing the game………Now, Chattu again twists the rules so as to make it a 2 player game………After a while, the remaining guy also quits playing the game…………..Chattu, not intent on giving up, now loads the game on his laptop and plays with computer. Speak about never-say-die attitude………… Latest news is that Chattu has loaded the game on his mobile too and plays while commuting.

Prasanna has a crush on this northie girl in his batch during his training. Incidentally this girl, let’s call her V baby, stays in the room right above that of Prasanna’s. Prasanna dreams of various situations involving V baby, like for instance, if the floor above him collapses, V baby will fall into his lap, or if he drills his bathroom ceiling, he can see V baby’s bathroom, or if he removes his fan and drills, he can see V baby’s bed, stuff like that, to which everyone responds “etra manoharamaaya nadakkaatha swapnam”, enraging Prasanna. The funny stuff is that Prasanna does all the donkey’s work in the lab while she chats in her mobile all the time; and when her phone’s battery drains, she uses Prasanna’s phone, calls her mom, says “hello maa, mein yaham bahut badi badi kaam kar rahi hum………”. Prasanna endures everything for her lady love. Then one day, another girl in a different batch approaches Prasanna enquiring how to reach Kochi airport in the shortest time. Prasanna gives her all the details, train timing, route from railway station to airport, all the nitty-gritty details; girl thanks Prasanna, says it’s actually for her friend, whose boyfriend is reaching Kochi, and this friend wants to meet him and spend some time with him and stuff. Guess who this friend was – V baby. Prasanna was later spotted in the beach with a thousand-yard stare into the abounding sea, with tears flowing down his cheeks. Ippazhum aa training katha oorthu avan karayarundu........vellam adikkumbol.

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So there! That's almost everything that I could possibly dig up. I know I can never go back but at least I can come back to this little space and relive those memories time and again. And that's the purpose for most of the part besides sharing it with others.........coz...... happiness is only real when shared, to quote from the diary of McCandless.........Cheers!