The girl with a sweet voice

“Avalude voice itrayum sweet aanenkil kaanaan engane aayirikkum? Just imagine” 

says Navy, my fellow trainee in telecom class.  

It all happened yesterday. Navy, while withdrawing cash from an ATM, finds a mobile phone by the side of the counter. He takes the mobile, goes home, searched for “Home” number in its contacts and gives a call. A man picks up the phone. 

Navy (in RamjiRao style): Ningade mobile nammude custodyil aanu. Number 99xxxxxxxx. 
Man at the other end: Ente moolde number aanallo athu. Ayyo! ningal avale kidnap cheytho? How many moneys veenam thirichu kittaan?? 

Navy makes him understand the situation and says his mobile is safe with him and will return it the next day. After a while the man’s daughter contacts him and thanks him, says it’s hard to find good-hearted people like Navy these days (Oh Puleez, gimme a break). And they agree to meet at evening the next day to hand over the mobile.  

The next day: 

Our Romeo arrayed himself in his finest clothes, sprayed 3 different kinds of perfumes, polished his shoes and most importantly, had a bath (finally!). All day long in class he has been dreaming about the ‘girl with the sweet voice’, charts out his entire life with her, plans his honeymoon destination, decides which school to send their children to, and the bungling bird brain he is, looks down upon us as ‘losers’ who never got a phone call from any ‘girl-with-a-sweet-voice’. He spoke in lengths of the frequency, tone, bass, pitch etc etc etc of her voice (slightly turning out to be a psycho, I know) and says how unlucky the rest of us are who doesn’t have the chance to meet her at evening.  

“After meeting we might go for dinner, then most probably we’ll spend the night together. Will be too tired to come for class tomorrow. Please daaan’t misunderstand me, unlucky fellaas”, says Navy with a wry smile.

Evening:  

Full sleeved shirt without a single wrinkle, shiny black shoes, excessively oiled hair, thick black sunglasses and a face smeared with Cuticura powder. An extra-terrestrial like being is spotted at Ambalamukku bus stop, who is constantly looking at watch and combing hair every now and then. People passing by slows down and stares at him; college girls walking by looks at each other and laughs hysterically; elderly souls stops by and gives a ‘Evan aareda?’ look; commuters at bus quickly take their mobile phones and snaps a photo (probably to send to museum with a caption “Apoorva Jeevi”).  

After a while comes the ‘girl with a sweet voice’, the girl of Navy’s dreams. She’s a sweet, pretty, cute, innocent.............13 year old school girl.

*Boom**Crash**Thud* 

And that’s not all. After giving her the mobile, girl says, 

“Thankyou uncle”

A 3 way attack

“Today an elephant ran amuck near my office”
says mom animatedly to everyone in general.

Sis who was busy doing her homework suddenly looks up and quips,
“Wow! Even the elephant got scared seeing mom!!”

I, who was busy playing with my cell-phone, adds,
“Oh that’s nothing. The times when we visited the zoo, even the lions went back to their den seeing mom.”

Sis and I hi-fived each other, when dad chips in,
“Oh that’s nothing. I’ve been in my den scared for my life for the past…..errr….err…..how many years? 27?

Sis: 23
Me: 25
Mom (in a loud thumping voice): 24!!
Dad: Right!

Smoke fumes out of mom’s ears and nose while sis and I were literally ROFL.