About shirking chores

One of our family friends had his nephew visiting his house last week. The nephew dude was a chap of about 12 years old and was kind of like me, in that he doesn’t do any chores in his house. Now, our family friend uncle had an ‘everyone-wash-their-own-plate’ policy in his house. So the family had their dinner and when the nephew dude was just about to get up, uncle asks him to wash his plate. He silently went to the kitchen, washed his plate sparkling clean, came back and sat next to uncle on the sofa. After a few seconds, he gently asks uncle,

“Uncle, where do I have to go to report about child labor?”

Warning: Kids, do not try this at home. You’d probably get a whip on your butt. ;)

P.S. I’ll be moving to Kochi to work on a research project at Cochin University, in about 2 weeks. So I’ll not be visiting this space that frequently thenceforth, and posts will mostly be sporadic. However, I’ll be home once every week, or at least every fortnight - Nah, not because I’ll be nostalgic or dying to see my family but due to the sole reason that I love my washing machine; know what I mean? Hehe, cheers!! 

Random Chat

What does a lazy, unemployed, penniless person do when he has free time? Oh yeah, that’s the only time he got - free that is- after swatting flies, reading comics, watching porn, eating junk food etc etc. And what if he doesn’t have that smart, charming personality that enables him to attract and socialize with people, especially with the fairer sex? What if he has only about 20 friends in orkut, 10 in facebook and 3 in messenger? Yeah, that’s when he discovered this site called ‘omegle’. For the uninitiated, this is a chat site where you are connected randomly with strangers. You just go to the site, click ‘connect’, and the next second you chat with some stranger. Whenever you don’t want to continue, you simply click ‘disconnect’ (For people like me, chances are that you’ll probably get disconnected from the other end most of the time). If you want to chat again, you just connect and you meet another random stranger. Here are some of the conversations that I had (No chat lasted for more than 5 minutes for me though):

You're now chatting with a random stranger.

Stranger: male/female?
You: Male. you?
Stranger: Male. Bye
You: bye.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: asl?
You: 23/m/almost the southern tip of a peninsula
Stranger: Too much information!!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: asl?
Stranger: What??
You: Fairer sex or the other one?
Stranger: I no sex!
You: Good for you

Are you sure you want to disconnect? *click* click*

Stranger: m/f?
You: m, you?
Stranger: male. I’m gay.

Are you sure you want to disconnect? *click* click*

You: asl?
Stranger: 20/f/India. You?
You: 23/m/almost the tip of a peninsula
Stranger: Where’re you from?
You: Let’s say I’ve Arabian Sea to my west, Bay of Bengal to my east and Indian Ocean to my south.
Stranger: Saudi Arabia?
You: Go and check your 5th grade geography text. Bye.

Are you sure you want to disconnect? *click* click*

You: asl?
Stranger: 48/m/White house, you?
You: 52/m/Afghan-Pak border

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: asl?
You: 23/m/India. You?
Stranger: 55/m/US
You: Hmm
Stranger: I’m horny.

Are you sure you want to disconnect? *click* click*

Stranger: Hi, I’m a hot and sexy brunette from Italy.
You: And I’m Zaphod Beeblebrox from Betelgeuse. How’s it going Earthling?
Stranger: Don’t be a douchebag like the last guy.
You: So the last guy also got fed up with you eh?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: What do you do for a living?
You: I work for the Irish Mafia.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: What did you major in college?
You: Electronics engineering.
Stranger: Bye
(So much for saying an honest answer, drats!)

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Does your room have a window?
You: Oh yes, six big ones and one wide flung open.
Stranger: What do you see when you peek from it?
You: I see a shooting star! Oh wait, I see a burglar sneaking through my garden!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Prove to me that you’re not a figment of my imagination
You: Oh, I’m actually a figment of your imagination. I don’t exist.
Stranger: Where’re you from?
You: From inside your mind.
Stranger: Yeah, so what do you feel like inside there?
You: Nothing. I feel void. Emptiness engulfs me.
Stranger: What do we do about it?
You: We need to put something called ‘brain’ in here.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Happens

So last day I got into the bus and took a seat by the window and was watching all these chicks by the road. These private buses will start only after the seats are filled and I sat there enjoying all those ‘things of beauty, joy forever’, and whiled away time, being in my own little world. A little while later, an old man comes and sits beside me. I looked at him and out of the blue he suddenly folds his hands and gestures a ‘Namaskaram’ to me. Seeing the good manners and formality of the old timer, I lowered my head and torso, folded my hands, and gave him back a big Namaskaram. Old guy scowls and stares at me, obviously very displeased. What the bloody F? Aah forget it, and I resumed my bird watching. Only after a while did I see a temple by the side of the road. Raise your palm, slap your face.