Disclaimer: The character in this post is absolutely real and very much alive. Any resemblance to other living characters/fictional morons is not at all coincidental, because he seems to have influenced quite a bunch of lesser mortals.
The protagonist of this post is KP. KP is good natured, generous and likable. But he has some of those idiosyncratic habits. His mom wakes him up even before dawn and to subdue his angst over that, calls his friends waking them up, sending shudders of annoyance scampering up ticklish spines, one of the reasons that forced me to turn my cell phone to silent mode while going to sleep. And the dude's eating habits are quite quirky. The guy doesn't have lunch. I havn't seen anyone before, who finds food unappealing. He eats just for the sake of staying alive; but that doesn't have any correlation with the amount of fat in his body. Quite strange. The dude who usually dresses up as if people are blind, came tucked in, combed and shaved in a "pink" shirt for his job interview. I don't think he's gay, but rumours exist about this dialogue:
X: kp, do u have a girl friend?
kp: What's a girl?? !!!
Excerpt from his job interview (his version retold by me):
PI: Your engg percentage is less than that in your 12th grade.
kp: I have knowledge.
PI: Oh, then tell me something about surface technology.
kp: !!! I have good cpp knowledge.
PI: Then do this program.
(After a partially successful attempt)
PI: Where do you see yourself 5 years down the line?
kp: ummm, DIRECTOR!!
PI(mouth agape): dyeRECTeraaaa!!! (if anyone can recall mallu film actor innocent's accent)
kp: No, i mean i want to lead a group of people, blah blah blah.
One could see his lumpy, indestructible smile cracked forever across the front of his face, when he was selected for the job. And that is the day when I saw him gorge himself in zam zam until he thought he would explode and then sagged back a contented stupor, his mouth filmy with a succulent residue. They say "Insanity is contagious." And i'm scared stiff. More of kp's stories will be published as soon as i get hold of it.
P.S. And I did read Catch-22.
January 5, 2008
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