Gutso's Gaucheries, The Saga Continues.

         This is yet another post about Gutso (for the uninitiated, please refer to the previous post for an elaborate character sketch). Now, apart from confidence and guts, Gutso has this habit of conjuring up fake statistics out of thin air, to prove his points during debates and group discussions. He even fabricates “never heard before” real life incidents which are just figments of his imagination, to supplement his arguments and usually gets away unnoticed. But it’s of lately that he realized that tides sometimes change and numbers can go out of control.

Scenario: Classroom in IMS (yet again)

         The topic for our group discussion that day was a bit controversial and it was something like “Should women too be held responsible for increased rape cases in India, wearing provocative dresses?” I don’t remember the exact topic but it went something like this. Being the overly confident person, Gutso decided to take the side of the weaker faction in the discussion, that is, he supported the statement that women too should be held responsible. Excerpts from the discussion:

Gutso initiated the discussion by holding the very basic question:

Gutso: First of all, what is rape??

The sleepy audience now woke up hearing that. Heads started turning quizzically. Gutso explained how looking at the girls in Trivandrum is giving him kicks when they wear mini skirts and that women are solely responsible for everything that happens provocating the weakness of poor men. He even went to the extent of criticizing the attire of the girl sitting beside him. That’s when the girl got pumped up.

Gutso: Rape occurs in the spur of the moment usually. After all, to err is human. I think we should give the rapist another chance.

The irate girl beside Gutso: Yeah right, give him another chance to rape!

Gutso unrelentingly retaliated for every opposition argument. Incidents, anecdotes, statistics. Gutso is still smashing dialogues after dialogues, but somewhere down the line he made a twist of tongue:

Gutso: Every 2 seconds, a rape occurs in India.

That’s when the moderator interrupted the discussion.

Mod (taking out a calculator): Wait let me see,

     2 seconds = 1 rape
=> 1 minute = 30 rapes
=> 1 hour = 1800 rapes
=> 1 day = 43200 rapes
=> 1 week = 302400 rapes
=> 1 month = 1209600 rapes

Wow, over 1 million rapes in India in a month! That’s interesting. Dude, when making up statistics, at least make it a wee bit more plausible.

        Gutso remained almost silent for the rest of the time in the discussion. Now whenever Gutso comes for group discussions, he hides a calculator in his pocket (just to be sure with the made up numbers).

P.S. Heard that the girls in his college is forming a union and holding strikes demanding the ostrasization of Gutso whereby he keeps a minimum distance of 100 metres from any girl in his vicinity. I’ve got only 2 words for girls in Trivandrum – “Brace Yourself” - Gutso is on the prowl.