Chottu's Checkup Ordeal

Chottu is a health conscious guy. He does regular exercises in his terrace (topless of course; to seksually attract the girls walking by the road), acrobatics (while climbing the wall of his neighbor’s compound who apparently has a beautiful daughter) and marathon races (when the neighbor dad catches him by the collar when he sneaks up into his compound). Now Chottu had the perfect opportunity to prove to all the girls in our college that he was really a healthy guy with a perfect body who should be the object of any girl’s wildest fantasies. Those who were recruited by XYZ Corp had to undergo a medical checkup at DDRC last week. The checkup included blood test (to test for HIV I guess, XYZ Corp doesn’t want the employees spreading AIDS in their offices), ECG (to know whether our hearts will be able to brave the long insane unearthly working hours), ultra sound scan (to check whether our internal organs can function properly without any intake of food while working continuously), urine test (to test whether our kidneys function properly so that they can later sell it in case of debts), dental checkup (for checking whether there’ll be any difficulty giving French kisses), eye examination (to check if we can see chicks at a distance while working; anyone who passes this test will be rejected). Now Chottu was all pumped up and geared for the medical checkup. The reporting time at DDRC was 7.AM. Chottu after his stint with dumb bells and push ups started drinking gallons of water for the urinalysis (which was the first test). We reached there on time and waited for the test. Meanwhile pressure has been building up on Chottu’s bladder. 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes and still his name hasn’t been called. Realizing that he couldn’t control anymore, Chottu ran to the nurse asking her to give the bottle for taking urine but the nurse unsympathetically refuses and tells him to wait in the queue. That made Chottu get on his nerves and he started an altercation with the nurse; but the obdurate nurse doesn’t accede to it. A frustrated Chottu finally ran to the toilet and got relieved. Problem is that now his bladder is empty and it might take another gallon of water and 30 minutes for his test. So Chottu is back to the queue. Frustrated, Chottu starts drinking water like he haven’t seen it before and gets all pumped up again. Again his bladder starts troubling him, but he just got on time with the test. This time Chottu is all excited and runs to the toilet. He returns back relieved but the bottle seems to be missing.

Chottu: Athe sisteree, njaan sambavam pettennu cheythoondirunnappam bottle toilet inte akathu pooyi. Veere bottle tharaamo.

An irate nurse refuses to Chottu’s pleas and tells him to go back to the queue. After another unsuccessful altercation with the nurse, Chottu exasperatedly goes back to the queue which was quite long by now. At last he got the perfect timing with the bladder pressure coinciding with his turn for the test. A gleeful Chottu returned back and then we went for the remaining checkups. After finishing all of that by noon, we came back to collect our results and also to undergo a physical checkup. Guess what? Chottu’s urine sample missing!! Chottu is literally pissed off by now and starts pulling his hair and banging his head on the wall. Well, then he appeared for the physical test which showed a very high BP (unsurprisingly, due to all the tribulations he had been in just before). Chottu’s hopes and dreams about being the very-healthy-with-perfect-body-and-high-libido-guy is all now crumbled into shambles. Girls, please don’t lose your interest in Chottu just because of a high BP.