My Law

There’ll be at least one good chick to board the train/plane/bus along with you, but chances are they won’t be seated next to you. 
-- My Law a.k.a Tom's Law (copyright protected) 

Man, she was hot! I had glanced at her a couple of times while loitering in the airport. To cut short the descriptions, she redefined the concept of 'dream girl' for me. But then, I remembered that dreams will always be dreams and that 'My Law' had always applied to myself in my entire life. But hey, at least I got the window seat. So with no more pipe dreams I boarded the plane and made myself comfortable when all of a sudden she came walking down the aisle. 

“No chance, she’s not going to be seated beside me”, I told myself.  

But no, I was wrong, 'My Law' was proved wrong. She came right in, brushed her hair and sat next to me. 

“Impossible! This must be a dream!”, I thought. 

But no it wasn’t. I was living my dream in fact. 

Come on, come on, think of something to start a conversation. 
Hi, how’re you? – Too clichéd 
Hello Madam – Too boring 
Hey baby! – Naa
Howdy girly – Naa
You look supercalifragilistic expialidocious – Okay stop.

Finally I made up the perfect plan. I would take the newspaper, would uninterestedly glance through the news, and then would say something like,

“Damn it! Global financial markets collapsed. How will I ever become an I-banker now?? How will I ever make it big in Wall Street? How? How? How?” 

I took the newspaper when all of a sudden,

She: Hi excuse me
Me (with a 1000 watt smile): Yes 
She: Would you mind doing me a favor.

Oh boy! Oh boy! Anything for you darling! Does your body ache that you would like me to give you a massage? Are you scared that you want to hug me when the plane takes off??

Me: No problem. 

She: Actually, my boyfriend is seated over there in the front. Would you mind exchanging your seat with him?

*Boom**Thud**Crack*

And she points to her boy friend. He waved at me.

Me (the 1000 watt bulb just blew up): No problem.
She: Thank you. Thank you very much.

Bloody ass. Get lost.

Me: My pleasure

If My Law doesn’t act on you initially, it’s going to come back in a much virulent form. 
-- Modified My Law

And I got up and moved over to that duffer’s seat. It wasn’t a window seat, darn! Now wait a second. That duffer is her boyfriend??!!! What the bloody F?? 

Now this is another of those universal mysteries. You rarely come across a beautiful couple. Either the girl looks good and the boy doesn’t (this constitutes majority of the cases) or the boy looks good and the girl doesn’t (minority). In the latter case, either the boy is a complete fraud who uses the girl to get some favor done or he’s very much mature who has transcended the concept of physical beauty and has overlooked something beyond it; they'll make a good couple. Anyway screw all that, it’s not applicable to the most eligible bachelors like me. 

I hoped that at least there’ll be some gorgeous air hostesses. Wrong again! Man, how unlucky can a person be?? Forget gorgeousness, there wasn’t even an air hostess. There were only air hosts!! Darn! Darn! Darn! God, why me?? Why of all people, me?? 

I sat there dismally beside a grumpy old man who was busy reading the newspaper when all of a sudden, 

“Damn it! Global financial markets collapsed"